I've started reading a book about being a Mom. It speaks about how being a mother is such a minimized role in society. The title doesn't get the respect or recognition that it deserves. If someone were to ask you what you did for work and you said "I am a Mother." you might be snubbed or get looks of pity. So most of us just quietly say "Oh I'm just a Mom.." or "I don't do anything..". Sometimes you'll catch yourself saying "I'm a Mom....but...but... I do a couple other things on the side!" as if being a Mom isn't enough.
Don't get me wrong, I've gotten lots of reassurance and good uplifting comments. For some reason I still feel apologetic about my role. I feel insecure and worried about my contribution to this world. Am I enough? Am I doing enough? How can I be fulfilled when I have NO LIFE.
I want to encourage myself and other mothers to feel proud and realize how much we actually do. We are raising HUMANS. Somehow we take care of more than one LIFE. How we parent will shape the entire future of our society. Will it be full of narcissistic, self serving jerks or will it be full of loving, understanding, and open minded peacemakers? Of course there is always nature vs. nurture. We can't be in charge of our children's choices once they are grown. But we can influence them in so many ways.
Now that is a huge weight to carry. I know so many mothers who carry that weight so gracefully. I feel like I'm more of a "stumble uphill and fall off a couple cliffs on the way up" kind of Mom. But I make progress. I'm learning to love and embrace it. And it's funny, the more I embrace it and take time to enjoy it, the more time I have for just me. And I need that time to reset and move forward happily. I think as we remember that these are people with souls and thoughts and feelings it will come more easily. We can surrender that need to control and perfect and instead love and accept.
Motherhood is a gift. We have the gift to create others with our bodies. Those who can't can take on and mentor the children of others who weren't up to it at that time in their life. Aunts, sisters, grandmothers, teachers, friends. We can all mother those around us. Let's not forget that children are people. They aren't test scores or tasks to be completed. They are souls. It's a big job but it's somehow easier and more joyful to be a surrendered mother. I still get back to that place where I want to run away and I can't handle it and everyone is fighting and I want to screeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaammmmm! But then I send everyone away to take a minful moment, and I do too. I remember peace. I remember myself. I remember that I am a mother. I am strong and capable. I am enough. I can teach and cook. I can bathe and wipe. I can lead and guide. I can step back and allow imperfection. I can police when necessary. I can protect and love. I can be safety in a frightening world. I can take breaks and feel good about that because I am using my other time wisely.
To all the Moms out there. You are crazy awesome! It is hard enough just being a woman in this world. So even if you're just feeling mediocre and living bedtime to bedtime I hope that you'll feel your worth. It's right there on the inside. Unearth that awesome lady and take her back! Treat her to days that she can take care of herself and just be alone with herself. :)